Been a while since I wrote a blog but this has come to me today! Yesterday I was feeling flat and blur and not myself at all! Today I woke up feeling much better on an emotional level but my body....oh my god...my body did not and still doesn't not want to do anything I have asked it too this morning...I feel like a 90 year old, creaking and cracking, stiff and just generally not my physical self....something is out of wack!
So, I have been questioning what I am doing ALOT lately and have pushed myself to do something that I thought would be great (a course in family Yoga) but as I went more and more into the course I felt my enthusiasm wain and my desire to complete the course fade into non existence! This is not unlike me....I'm not great with deadlines and like to do things as and when I want to...this course was not like that...I had to write a journal and do some homework and do a lesson plan and a video...the further I got into the course them more my mood dropped and the more I become disconnected and 'unhappy'. So I had to address this change in my energy, use some essential oils to clear the body and see what happened!
So what I have found, and this is something I have known for a long time but continue to do as that is what society expects!!! To be good at something, to teach or to do certain things an assessment is needed....this feels soooooooo out of alignment for me, it always has but I have always done it because that is what you 'have to do'! Feeling so out of sorts for the last few days has made me realise that NOTHING is worth me getting this out of alignment for, whatever it is that is making my mood drop or my body ache needs to go....this is what we are being asked to do...get rid of that which doesn't align with our hearts and our way of being and allow ourselves to be free and do the things that do align! So that is exactly what I have done, I wont be recording the video and I will not have another person judge me and give feedback on how I teach, I teach how I teach and that is that...my classes are heart led and in the moment with the energy of the room informing where we need to go as a class, this is what works for me, this is what my classes love about me and this is how I will continue to teach based on the energy of the room and the guidance I am given, I will not move on this and I will stand in my power to do it my way!
And as a side note...we have been buying a piece of land and the process has been stuck with no movement (probably for the same amount of time I have been feeling stuck in a situation that doesn't feel right to me!)....as soon as I decided to follow my heart and do things the way I want to do them I get a call from the solicitor as I am writing this blog to say we will complete on Friday...funny all the things that go your way when you allow yourself to feel free and follow your heart :) There are no coincidences only synchronicities :)